Episode 69: Overcoming Adversity-Interview with Entrepreneur, Speaker and Author Serena Mastin

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Hello and welcome to the WWIA Podcast. We're honored to have you join us in our mission to bring honor, connection and healing to America's combat wounded Purple Heart heroes.

If this is your first time listening to this podcast, we welcome you. If you're a returning listener, thanks for coming back.

Please be sure to tell others about our podcast and leave us a review if you're enjoying what you're hearing. Some of the most remarkable traits that our combat wounded veterans share are bravery, fortitude and resilience.

On this latest episode of the WWIA Podcast, we're honored to introduce you to a special guest whose journey has been fraught with numerous challenges and extreme obstacles, both personally and professionally. And despite all of it, she's pushed through with strength and determination, overcome trials, and found uncommon success in life.

WWIA founder and CEO John McDaniel is proud to welcome friend, entrepreneur, speaker and author Serena Mastin to the podcast.

Serena started her life in witness protection and nine different foster homes leading to teenage addiction and homelessness, and most recently walked through the devastation of her husband's suicide. Serena has faced unimaginable adversity, yet despite her challenges, she found a real sense of purpose along the way.

The most inspiring part of her story is her strength, resilience and authenticity. She brings a wealth of knowledge and insight from industries across the corporate landscape.

Connecting people with brands by creating engaging content, purposeful graphics, thought provoking web designs, and meaningful advertising campaigns that capture the heart of every business.

In addition to being a visionary entrepreneur, Serena recently published her first book, Can't Heal when You Hide, A memoir recounting her life story in harrowing detail. In the book, Serena discusses her experiences with assault, addiction, homelessness, infidelity, mental health, and ultimately profound healing.

Serena's thought provoking story encourages and empowers others to embrace challenges and do it with passion. We're excited to share her story and know it will resonate and inspire you. So let's jump into the conversation with John and Serena now.

Hi, I'm John McDaniel, founder and CEO of the Wounded Warriors in Action Foundation and this is our podcast, Honor Connect, Heal. Today I have a very special guest with me, Serena Mastin. Welcome to the program.

Thank you. I'm honored to be here.

Yeah, you Know, I gotta tell the story because this just, it's unique. You know, we connected on LinkedIn and when I read your profile, I said to myself, wow, this person's got something to say.

And you are a founder, you're a speaker, and you're an author. So you got, you've got a lot. You've got a lot going on, don't you?

Yes, a lot.

And the, the author part, I never thought I would be an author, and I still think it's a little weird to say author, but yes, I. I wrote a memoir about my personal story.

Did it get published?

Yes.

How do we find. How do we find that? Where, where is that? Where?

It's on Amazon. Yeah. Or you can actually just author website. Serena Mastin.com and it'll lead you to where the book is.

Wow. How long is the book?

It is. Oh, that is a good question. How long is it? Thirteen chapters. Thirteen? Yeah.

Wow.

It felt like forever.

Right? You know, I've thought about doing enough.

Some people have encouraged me to do it and I might someday, but it's like the idea of just writing a book is like, oh, man, it's just like, where do you start? And it just seems like it's so hard to do, you know, to get it moving.

It was. I had a book coach because I needed someone to hold me accountable.

Yeah. And then I've been approached by the book coach people. I don't know who that, you know, Forbes and all that.

You know, I don't know, I just go, ah, you know, right now, got too many fish to fresh. Let's just get let. I want to.

I'll tell you why I was really interested and we reached out to you and said, please consider, you know, being in our podcast, because. Why. That's what I think I want to tell everybody right up front, you know, get.

I like to get the punchline right up front, you know, so people aren't struggling, you know, tell them what you're going to tell them. Tell them and then tell them what you told them. Right. That's the best way.

And so, you know, when I was reading your story and getting to know who you. You were, what struck me was, you know, the tragedy that. And the challenges that you have been through in your life. I mean, we could even use words.

I think they might be your words. Devastation, you know, was is a word that, that I, that I read. Adversity, of course, and tragedy.

And a lot of our combat wounded Veterans have been through that. Right. And in spades, you know, and so that's what immediately struck me. And then here's this very successful woman who's gone on to.

Who's an author, a founder, a speaker, and you fought your way through a lot of the bad stuff. Right. And you powered your way through that and recovered. And that's a story of resiliency.

Yeah.

And. And that. That's what our heroes have too, you know, and they don't always look at it that way, I'm sure, but that's way I like.

That's the way I see it. And so I thought, wow, this is going to be a great chat. We can talk about that.

And if we could start there and just get like, right into some of it, because I think there's probably a lot of lessons.

Yes, right.

So if we would. If you would, please. I mean, in your bio, I'm like, I was gonna start off with this and let you roll with it.

I said in the pre shows, like, your bio says that you were in nine different foster homes.

Yes.

So, you know, if you were just in one, that's bad. Two, that's horrible. Three, I don't even know, but nine, that's like, you ought to have a. Like you have a championship ring or something. Right?

Tell us about. Tell us about how it.

How that started.

Yeah, yeah, tell us about that.

So my biological father was the leader of a satanic cult, and he sexually abused me, taking my innocence before the age of five. And my mom was trying to get us out of this environment, but he had cameras all over the house. He had people following us if we ever left the house.

And so when she finally was able to get us out, she had to earn her rights back as a parent. And through that process, I was put into the foster system. And so, yeah, that was the beginning.

I don't even know what to say. I had no idea that I was going to learn that. I have to say how much courage it takes to say what you just said and to be where you are.

And having had dealt with those things, because on a scale of one to 10, one being mild and 10 being. Oh, my God, you're pushing. You're over the 10 scale.

That's just the beginning.

The scale. That's the beginning. Oh, my gosh. That's the beginning. Wow. Okay. Well, please continue on. I don't have anything to say.

Wow.

So when you're in witness protection and you're put into a foster home, if someone finds out where you are, whether it's even with good intention, they immediately move you which is why I was transferred to so many different places. And I wasn't actually reunited with my mom until I was about 10 years old.

So I spent five years kind of bouncing around in these, I would say, unique environments, very foreign environments for a five year old at the time. And by the time that I did, you know, reunite with my mom, it was such a beautiful experience.

But I was so, I was so independent by that point and, and I, you know, I was determined to prove everyone wrong that, you know, like I, I rebelled. I just.

And like, you could do it, meaning rebelled with the sense, right, I can do this, I'm strong enough to do this, right?

Yes. But.

Is that right?

But, yes, but as a, a young child and then going into adolescence, I pushed the boundaries and my mom, you know, turned her life around and, you know, she gave her life to Christ. And so she was instilling a lot of those boundaries, those beliefs in me and creating new boundaries.

But in my, in my mind, I was still emotionally dealing with some of the trauma that I had experienced, counseling, all kinds of different things that I had gone through. And by the age of 15, I decided to leave home. And so I said I didn't meet anyone and I was going to do it on my own.

And I know that sounds crazy, especially knowing what I've already been through, but I did. I ran away. I lived on the streets off and on for about a year and a half. I enrolled myself in high school and I had.

Where were you at this time?

I was in California.

Okay.

And I would say in the Covina West Covina, Baldwin park, you know, kind of the la. Into the San Bernardino Riverside areas. And I enrolled myself into high school. I had three jobs and I would take the bus to each job.

And then if I didn't have a place to sleep that night, I would sleep on the park bench across from the school.

And when the school opened up, I would go in and sneak into the locker room shower and just pretend that I was just showing up to school like everyone else.

Wow.

And so there's a key word there that, that word pretend. I, I learned later on that I used that word as protection. I always pretended that everything was okay.

I pretended that I had it all together when in reality, I was struggling with drug addiction at that time. You know, putting yourself in that environment then also puts you in. To places where you're exposed to dangerous situations.

And so I was, I was raped, I was beaten up on the streets. You know, all kinds of the things that, that you open yourself up to in that stage.

But despite all of that, my mom was my hero and just continued to love me unconditionally, supported me even from afar. And when I finally broke down and came back, I was about 17 years old, and she nurtured me back to health.

And then from there, I just ran back out and climbed the corporate ladder.

Wow. You know, you said something there that's really important. And it is this idea of unity, you know, unconditional, you know, love. Right.

I mean, how powerful is that? No matter how it's like, you know, the good Lord. Right?

Yeah.

You know, and.

And our parents, you know, and of course, we get that, you know, from other people as well, and very select few perhaps in our lives, but we know we can count on it from God and we know we can count on it from our parents most of the time.

Right?

Yeah, but that's. Wow, what a story. Holy smokes. And so you get. You get through high school in California.

Yes.

And then what? And then what happens?

So then I, you know, I had some tumultuous relationships. I. I had my son at the age of 21, and I was a single mom trying to figure it out. By that point, I had started to get more, you know, involved in.

In business and corporate environments and growing on a professional level. And so I thought, you know, another relationship would help heal the personal side. And that then was, you know, it was.

It was constantly like all of these obstacles because what I didn't realize at the time is that I really had to heal all of that trauma from my childhood or else I was going to keep bringing it into every relationship. And so go ahead.

No, I'm nodding my head north and south. I was having to say something because when I read your bio and the name of your book exposed, you can't heal when you hide.

When I read that, when I first read that, I thought a light bulb went on in my head because I wanted to. I'll tell you a quick story and then I'll turn it back over to you for your thoughts on it. That's a way of saying you can't heal when you hide.

That's very good. And another way, I had a close personal, I guess, called a friend of mine, okay. Who was in needing some therapy, and she got that.

And we were chatting about the process at one point, and she said to me that the therapist looked at her and said, the process starts when we get real. And it's very similar to what you said about hiding. That's putting it on the table that's facing whatever it is and real, real quick.

And it doesn't, you know, it doesn't start. The process can't start until we face those demons or that demon and put it on the table and get real about it. Right?

Yes. And I think the other part is if we think about our patterns, right?

Like when I was a little girl and when my biological father would come home, I would hide in the closet.

So there's a literal perspective as well that I recognize later on that whether I'm actually hiding or I'm hiding behind being strong or pretending I have it all together, hiding behind my career, you still are losing a part of your identity because you're not really facing the pattern that's evolved over time. And until you face it, it's going to continue to seep into every area of your life.

Yeah. When you say face it, you want to. What is it?

Well, you have to first look inward. Right. Like you. You cannot face anything without understanding why you are repeating patterns. Right.

Behaving.

Behaving in a way that is, for instance, attracting the wrong types of relationships.

Behaving in a way that is, you know, not authentic and true to who you really are because you're trying to earn approval or you're trying to protect whatever that pattern is, you first have to understand where it started and then where it shows up.

And then once you look within yourself and understand that piece, then not only are you aware of it, so it makes it very blatant in your face, but now you become hypersensitive of when it actually happens. And when you start to repeat the same behavior over and over again, now you can start to see where you need to shift.

And so that was the beginning of my healing journey.

Did somebody help you with that, or is that something you came up with?

So many people helped me.

Isn't that how it is, really?

Yes.

And so it was me just being determined to, you know, personal development myself all the way to success, reading hundreds of books and trying to learn on my own. But then it was also mentors and counselors and people that came in my life, even for a short time, that taught me some of those things.

So, yes, I would never say I did it on my own.

No, I had to hear. I had to hear, you know, your answer to that, because it's often that's the case. It's not one thing. It's not one person.

It's just this interconnected series of people and things that help you in that journey.

Yeah.

You know, Getting. Getting through that tunnel and. And seeing the light on the other side, and then, you know, really beginning to heal.

But then recognizing, most importantly, like you said, those patterns of behavior, you know, you catch yourself. You know, I'm doing it again. Yeah, it's right there, you know, and. And that's.

And that's where the management and the self regulation come in, is now that you're aware of those things, now you have to catch them.

Boundaries.

Yes.

Isn't that interesting? Yeah, Very good. Well, you know, that's. That's just. Oh, man, that. What a crazy, interesting and amazing story of resiliency. Right?

I mean, you come out of this thing now, you're in corporate America, you've got a son, and what's your first real job? What do you get your first real job, and what are you doing?

It was actually kind of by accident.

I. I was working in a distribution center, answering the phones, and I got a call from a temp agency that was trying to connect with the hiring manager, and she recruited me to go to another interview. I wasn't happy in the role that I was in. I just took the risk.

I went that day on my lunch to the interview, got hired on the spot, and then quit the other job. And that was for. For those that are aware, it was the Hot Topic corporate office. And that was the most exciting and like, big.

Like, big position that I had gotten at that time in my life.

Hot Topic?

Yeah.

What's. What's that?

It's like a clothing store. But this clothing store has over 200 stores at that. I have about 400 now. And I was. They asked me to be the.

The voice of a Hot Topic, and that just meant that I was the receptionist, but that was my starting point.

You were a gate. Gatekeeper.

I was. But then from there, I grew into the new home industry, and I was doing marketing for residential home builders.

And by this point, now I have my daughter and my son. And as I was growing in my career, I got, you know, at gosh, I think I was.

I bought my first house at 23, and by the age of 26, I was a VP of marketing for an organization that was all about corporate training and culture. So I was really moving through, and I was fighting because I didn't have a college background.

So I had to use my experience as the foundation, and that's kind of how I clawed my way to the top in the corporate world.

Now let's talk about marketing for a second, because, you know, we don't. The foundation does not have, like, a person in charge of marketing. I think you're talking to that guy or that person.

So I've, you know, even though I, you know, have some education and business behind me and all of that, you know, marketing has been something I've always been really fascinated by. Because when you say, like, what is your brand?

Because, you know, when I talk about when I think about marketing, I then immediately begin to think about brand. And when I think about brand, I go, what is that? You know, what, what, what, what is that? Well, you know, in my case, I could talk.

We're not here to talk about me today or the foundation a whole lot. But, you know, when I do think about it, I think about, okay, really the foundation has a brand. We have a logo. That's a logo.

But really our brand is, you know, it is what you. My opinion, you know, it is what you really do and how you do it and how you're known for doing it.

You know, whether, you know, in the case of McDonald's, you go, well, what's McDonald's brand? Well, you know, you could start talking about the Whopper, the Ronald McDonald, the french fries, you know, the franchise.

There's lots of things you can say, but when you go to a McDonald's, you have certain expectations, you know, about what that experience is going to be like. And. And it's fairly consistent, right? You, Tupelo, Mississippi to, you know, Anchorage, Alaska. You know, a Big Mac's a Big Mac, right?

And so there's a brand. There's a brand there, but they throw.

The big companies throw hundreds of millions of dollars at reinforcing an image and an idea that becomes the brand. Nike. Just do it, you know, and.

But those folks can afford to throw tons and tons of money to establish a brand to reinforce a brand, and they're often using celebrities to do that. Well, that's because they got hundreds of millions of dollars in their budget to be able to do it. Most people, Most companies don't.

So when you think about branding, at least when I do, I go, you know, your brand is every day what you do. You know, it's that experience, in this case that the Purple Heart recipient has when he leaves the event. Wow. What was that experience all about?

You know, always professional from the start. They did this, they did that. I felt comfortable. I was surrounded by other heroes. Nobody asked me to really do anything besides enjoy myself.

And it was world class. And we ate great and, you know, wow. Everybody handled me just really well.

And I felt like I was part of a team, you know, and then they walk away with that and they form their own opinion about what is that brand. That is the wwia, right?

Yes.

And so that's from the bottom up. Right? So that's. That, that, that to me is like organic brand build in my way of thinking. What is your thinking on, on, on marketing and branding.

And you're, you're, you're a professional in this space. I'm just a rookie. Lane, tell me, what do you think?

Well, I think that in order to really have a brand that people resonate with, you have to live and you have to breathe in. It has to be you. And if you look at a brand from, take it out of a business context, but you look at it from an individual, it's how you show up.

So, right.

It's like the easiest way to say it is how do you show how you show up? Right. Like you have core values, you are grounded and clear on what those are.

And so you show up in a way that makes people feel your values, and that on a personal level is a brand. And now you just translate that into your business.

That's just really. Well, that's well said, you know, but what kind of, so what kind of advice would you give somebody who's just starting out?

Like, I mean, because to me, when you, you mentioned it earlier, you used the word culture, right? And culture is a very interesting word to me when I think about describing, like, what is, you know, the. What is. What is the wwia?

It has a culture to it. And I think I spend a lot of my time as the, you know, the, the dude that started it and in charge of it and all that.

But I think a lot, I think a lot about this idea of the culture. What is it? How, how do I strengthen it, how, how do I improve it, how, how do I protect it?

You know, this is what I think about, like, that the culture is really important. But, you know, it's. You ask me, of course I'm going to say, you know, stuff about it, positive stuff, but it's not my opinion that matters.

You know, it's the customers, it's the employees combination.

Right?

Your brand is telling stories, really, your entire brand is about really connecting the dots and inspiring and empowering others with stories that are vulnerable and authentic. And so the beautiful thing is your brand is already there. It's just you need to get clear on the language.

And normally that's when you create your values, whatever your values are, you interweave those into how you Communicate how you show up and how you market your company. It's all based on your values. So, like, my values are, you know, for my business are like, we communicate with love. And love is an acronym.

It's luv, and it stands for listen, understand, and validate. That's one of our values. So that we are always open to feedback. We're always open to growth. But that's just one.

And everything that we do, whether we hire, whether we fire, you know, or whether we're working with a client, that is not the right fit. We base everything on those values. And so it's just kind of one example of how you.

How you communicate that listen, understand, and validate love. That's really good. So, okay, well, what about your business? What is your business? I mean, what do you do?

Yeah, so I started.

What are you doing?

And then she said, well, if you gave even a quarter of the amount of time and investment that you give to everyone else into your own business, there's no way you wouldn't be successful. And I was like, yeah, you have to say that because you're my mom, you know?

And she goes, well, if you're not going to do it for you, then do it for me. And I said, you are so manipulative, because she knows I'm going to do it for her. And so my mom actually named the company Pulse Marketing.

And I hated it for a long time until I recognized that it's because we're at the heart of Create Us, and we pour our hearts into everything that we do. And so, yes, my mom was right, and I started the agency.

Great story. All right, so I'm gonna. We're gonna. We're gonna have a business discussion. How about that?

Okay.

Okay. So we have. I don't say.

Most of the professional marketeers that I've dealt with have been people that reached out to us and said, hey, we have this person who really thinks that what you're doing is a good fit for him or her.

These big marketing agencies, and they sort of try to align a personality with a brand, and then they try to figure out how it is that, you know, we can come up with a way that promotes, you know, their client and benefits them and, you know, maybe benefits the foundation. Well, it has to. Or I say, no. I say, that right now. And like I said, I look for the triple win.

You know, I'm not going to say yes to something that just, you know, pump somebody up and doesn't help my cause. Why would I do that? But, you know, I look for the, you know, the triple win. You get to win like you do. If you're.

If you're going to help us, I'll let you win. And I know that you're going to ask me for money because you're not doing it for free, of course. So right there, you're going to win.

Yeah, you have to. Yeah, that's right. Same here, you know, anyway, so that's one piece of it. Right there is the.

Yeah, I acknowledge that you're going to win now, even if it's for. If. Even if it's for free and it's philanthropy, you know, which never, hardly ever happens. Not in the marketing space. And I don't go, you know what?

You guys are really cool. We're gonna help you out with all this stuff. You know, this typically does not happen. But if it's.

Even if it's philanthropy I put on the table, I'm gonna. Even though you're trying to do something really good, I'm gonna find a way to make sure that you win.

I'm gonna make a way make sure that the heroes win, you know, those that were serving the combat wounded, and that the foundation wins. All right, so that's my tripod, if you will.

But in the business, for this, I would say, how, you know, if I was going to hire you, first off, I'd say, okay, you know, what's our biggest. What's our biggest challenge? Let's just talk about it. You know, these are all these conversations. That's how it always goes with me. Right?

I mean, let's just talk about this. So I go, okay, My biggest challenge in the marketing space, I think, is reaching people who don't know who we are and what we do. Right.

That's our biggest challenge. The people that do know who we are and what we do are all in, like, they love it. They're just knocking it out of the park.

And we have a tendency to go back to them and ask for more help, you know, and more support.

Yeah.

And then there's only so much blood you can get out of a turnip.

Yeah.

Right. So if I was to say to you, like, you know, we would like to.

We would like to increase the number of operations that we have, so we need to find hosts out there who are Willing to come, step forward, volunteer. Because that's the key in our space is volunteering. You can pay anybody just about to do anything, but it defeats the purpose.

A hundred percent of the people that are helping our missions, there's 42 of them across the country. Every one of those have come to us and said, I want to help. That's organic growth.

Now, I know your heart and guts are in the right place, and you really do want to help, as opposed to, hey, would you help us with this? When you ask like that, it's, you know, you're probably going to attract the wrong person. So if I was to say to you, how do you. How do we.

How do you help me increase awareness, you know, of our brand? You know, what's your answer there? How can you. How could you help us?

Well, I would.

Sorry to put you on the screen.

That's okay. I think, you know, my first.

First and foremost, it would be getting the stories of the people that you've transformed, their lives out there and doing it in a way that connects with people on a human level and gives them a sense of purpose.

Because it's one thing to tell a story, but it's a whole nother thing to give somebody goosebumps or tears in their eyes, because that becomes a movement.

And so it's the stories that you already have, it's just now using those stories in a way that's going to connect with the right people and then bring in that audience that you need for support. But there's so many methods to do that. There's video, there's social media there, you know, it's revised, like revamping your website.

There's so many. There's podcasts. Right. It's bringing those stories to life, but in a way that's consistent and cohesive. So there's a theme.

So it's not just random stories being thrown at you, but now you're targeting the people who connect with a story like that because they're in a specific industry and that story just touches their heart, well, now they want to give to that. So it's really dependent on your strategy, but it always starts with your stories.

Yeah, that's great advice. Yeah. And if you're in the outdoor sporting arena, you know, you. You. You best find those channels, right?

Yeah.

Because that. That's what you. That's what you want to do, is you want to find the pathways.

Some of our biggest clients are in the firearm industry. Some of our biggest clients are in construction industry, outdoor industry. So, yeah, really? Yes. So it's.

And it's funny because you're like, how is this, you know, little marketing agency marketing firearms? And it's. It's because it all connects people.

Yeah.

Love to feel like they're a part of something bigger. And when they have something that they're passionate about, like, let's say, firearms, if they're a collector or they're military and police. Right.

Yeah.

You. You have to connect with that audience on that deeper level. You don't. You don't sell a product or you don't sell a service.

You share a story that connects and brings that person in.

Yeah. Well. Well, maybe we should have a conversation in detail about this and figure. Figure out how we could, you know, move the needle here. Yeah.

Because I. I also think you got to be a little, you know, you got to be a little, you know, or a lot focused on. On what you're, you know, trying to accomplish, too.

Yes. You have to have a plan.

Yeah. With your marketing dollars, which are, you know, very few and far between. And social media is such. You get such a bang for your buck there.

I mean, it's relatively. It's relatively inexpensive, you know, and you can boost things and get them into the. In the space and that you otherwise wouldn't, you know, be in.

But, yeah, it's all connected. Well, that's wonderful. I appreciate your advice there, and I'm going to. I'm going to give that some thought and, you know, see what, what shakes.

So what is. What's next for you? I mean, you're just grinding this thing out. You know, where do you have an office that you go to?

Are your people working virtually? Well, this is Puerto Rico. Right. I mean, you're in Puerto Rico. My goodness.

Well, this is where that, that end part of the story also shakes things up is when I started my agency, my kids were still young, and I was newly married, and I was in love. And he was like the perfect visionary for the company. And so one day came home from work early and said, I quit my job.

And I was like, I'm sorry, what? And he said, well, if I'm going to sell anything, I'm going to sell something I believe in, and I believe in you.

And I said, but we don't have any money. But that is how we started this company is in our, you know, in our house, in our home office.

And our employees actually started to come to our house, and we all. We had our loft set up for our employees. And my husband, he would go out and he would sell, and then I would manage everything else.

The operations, the culture, the process, the graphic design, the web design, all the things. And just juggling that for so long. And we grew tremendously within the first few years, and we did.

Because the truth is that even though on the outside we looked like this power couple, my husband was struggling with multiple infidelities. He was struggling with addiction and mental health issues.

And so I thought that the more I could pour into him and the more I could forgive and move past those things and the more counseling that we got, that no one would ever know that that was happening behind the scenes. But the truth is that everything in your personal life seeps into your business, whether you like it or not.

And so even though I pretended to have it all together, the truth is that it was the moment that I recognized that I needed to leave my husband because I had lost myself. I had been so broken, and I had so many things that I was trying to band aid together, and it just kind of crumbled.

And so when I left my husband, I knew that there would be mental health issues that came up, There would be a lot of other issues, but I just knew that I had to care for me first. And so when I walked into my office and I informed my team, I was like, we're going to be stronger next year. We're going to do better next year.

And this is just one small, you know, obstacle in the bigger picture. And they. They started whispering. And I said, like, we have a no tolerance policy for gossip. And like, if you have something to say, say it.

And he said that he had also been with one of our employees that had just recently left, that the unfaithfulness was not just something I was hiding, that it was. It was happening in front of my team and my staff. And I.

In that moment, I was just broken because I already felt like he was doing the sales for the company. I had to figure that out, right? He had personal relationship with every client. I Had to conquer that mountain.

And then when I found out that this whole time that my team was afraid to say anything because they didn't want to hurt me, but that they were watching, and they knew that this facade of me being strong all the time was actually. They knew what was happening behind the scenes. And it just. It brought so much clarity to me in that moment.

Had hit. I was already trying to save the clients from losing, you know, like, some sort of stability with the. The reoccurring revenue.

I now was in a position where I not only had to be there just for my kids and my family that remembered, no one had any clue of what was really happening, because I kept pretending that everything was okay. It was like a shock that just kind of went through my entire life. And I had to rebuild my life again. So I had to get rid of the office.

I had to sell the house. He had no life insurance, nothing. So there was.

Instead, I had over 200,000 of debt personally, and I had over a half a million of debt in the business. And I think that was when you could honestly say that I wasn't just hitting rock bottom.

I was on the ground and didn't even have the strength to get up. And my team rose me up, they lifted me up, and they said, we're going to figure this out.

You take the time to heal, and we'll do our best to run the company. And that's when I wrote my book, and that's when I really started that next layer of the healing process.

Wow. That's incredible. That's just an incredible story.

I'm so sorry for, you know, to learn of your loss, of course, you know, and all the tragedy, you know, that you've endured throughout your life, and it brings you right to today, doesn't it? I mean.

I mean, any one of those events would be probably way more than one person could handle, but you've just been thrown everything at you, and you've come out the other side. But to see your team, you can imagine we talk about culture, go back to that for a second.

But here you are thinking everything's fine, and the reality is you're the team cheerleader. All these roles, right?

Yes.

And. But behind the scenes, they're aware of something that's happening that's Counterculture. It's corrosive. It's horrible. You know, and.

And they don't want to say anything to hurt you. But, you know, go back to what we said when we started. You know, the process starts when we get real.

Yeah.

You know, and that's.

I'd rather have the ugly truth over the prettiest of lies any day.

And we used to say, a boss, he used to say, you know, you know, it doesn't get better with time. You know, bad news does not get better with time. And so, you know, you have to brave it. You know, is. But that part of that is also culture, right?

I mean, you want to have the kind of culture that supports people being honest with you and, you know, and leveling with you and telling you the truth so that you can make good decisions.

That was six years ago. And those employees, the two that really rose up, are still with me today.

There you go.

So, yes, that little erosion will start to crack the foundation, but when you have those that are ready to rebuild it, I mean, that gives you the tools and the people to rebuild a stronger foundation.

Well, what a great story you have. It's just incredible. Right? I mean.

Well, I wrote a book. Right.

Yeah. Right. What. What would you tell the average combat wounded, you know, veteran who's been through, you know, all kinds of stuff in his life?

You know, I mean, you had to put yourself in his shoes for a second. Or Hershey's.

There's combat wounded women out there who were wounded in combat, but, you know, you were wearing a uniform, you went off to some foreign country, you got, you know, in a direct fire conflict of some sort, and you were wounded. And, you know, some of them are patched up quickly and can return to duty, but most of them cannot. And now you're, you know, back on the block.

Some time is gone, you know, you might have to have, you know, four, five, six some guys. And I just met a guy the other day that told me he's on his hundredth surgery. You can't get your head around that.

But, you know, what kind of advice would you give somebody like that who might be, you know, struggling, you know, to find his or her way? What would you get? What kind of advice do you have for him?

I would say that when you heal yourself, you heal the world because you are the person that carries that weight.

And when we stop punishing ourselves and we stop beating up on ourselves and we start to recognize all that we've been through and all that we've done and you give yourself that grace and it starts with self forgiveness, right? Forgiving yourself for not doing this or for doing that, whatever it may be.

Once you heal yourself, then you're going to naturally just magnify and everyone around you is going to start to bring more joy. It's when we allow the darkness or the dark times to fester, to build resentment, to build regret. That is what tears us down.

And so it starts with healing yourself and finding the resources to do that. It doesn't mean you do it on your own. It means you find the right resources to go through that process.

That's just great. That's great advice. I appreciate you sharing that with us and your story. I mean, it's truly remarkable, Serena. It really is. I don't know what to say.

Often it's rare that I find myself not knowing what to say next, but in this case, I really just being honest with you, I don't know what to say next other than thank you for sharing all of that with us. And you are just a beacon of light and you're somebody.

I hope that and the rest of your travels and things that you do in your life are wonderful and that you're past all the tragedy.

And thank you for having the courage to come on the program and share those things with us because I feel stronger having just chatted with you and I hope others are listening to do you feel the same way? And you again, you're an entrepreneur, you're an author, you're a speaker, you're a founder, you're all these things.

And behind you is this just in the wake behind your ship that's battling these seas is a bunch of tragedy and heartbreak and devastation. Yet here you are forging forward and that's very admirable. And so my hat goes, yes, of course, my hat goes off to you.

How did folks find you if they want to read your book, if they want to be part of Pulse Marketing, if they want to find your book. I mean, tell us, how do we find you?

Easy. Serenamastin.com is my author website. It has all my social media and a link to my book there and it has my direct contact information.

So I get those emails and, and I'm pretty intentional about, you know, responding and, and having those one on one conversations because it is, it's my goal is to inspire and empower others. So I'm.

Like, you knocked it out. I think you knocked it out of the park today.

Thank you.

Outstanding. You're quite welcome. I'm going to give you the last word. Is there anything else you'd have any. We used to say any saved rounds, you know, in the.

Anything in your bandolier you want to expend?

I would say for all those that are listening, you do not have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

Oh, wow.

That. You just need to care for yourself first.

Right. It's really good. And it's so true, because leaders, even.

Even if you're not in a leadership position, but if you are, you know, a lot of leaders run themselves right into the ground trying to do all. Be all things to all people.

Yeah.

And. And you really have to take the time to. To take care of yourself, you know, heal yourself first.

Yeah.

And make yourself a priority. And. And that will, you know, obviously, then. Then you can take care of other people.

You'll be stronger, of course, you know, and healthier.

Don't hide, right?

Yes.

Don't. Don't hide. And get real.

I love it.

Right. That's. That's. Those are the themes today for us. Well, God bless you and I. I wish you all of the best moving forward in your life and in your career.

And thanks again for sharing your time with us today. It's a very powerful podcast that we did, and I want to thank you for that.

Thank you for having me.

You're welcome. Okay. Good luck with anything, and we might want to circle back sometime in the future and check on you and see how you're doing.

I'd love that.

All right, Outstanding. Take care of yourself.

Thank you.

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